Hanging On The Telephone
With the Minister listening in to all radio traffic, you need a private way to communicate. Maxine has just the solution Cast * Sam Yao * Maxine Myers * Paula Cohen * The Builder Plot A Boy Can't Miss Muster You meet up with Steve, who fills you in on just how angry the Minister is. With him on special measures at Abel for your escape you've only got one hour to sneakily sabotage a relay station. Get There Quickly Maxine and Paula discuss trust with Steve, and discover that food is being rationed at Abel to keep the populace subdued. If the plan to knock out the relay station works there'll be time to regroup. Report Back On The Guards Everyone's going a little stir crazy living out of two camper vans. During a sleepless night Maxine's come up with a longer term plan for this relay. Steve's disappointed it doesn't involve explosions. No Time To Waste There might be some explosions after all, of the distraction variety. That should give enough time to sneak into the relay station. Only A Few Minutes Steve sets off his explosion too early, but if you're quick you can throw the smoke bombs inside the tower before the guards realise something's not quite right. Head For The Third Floor Maxine's counting on the guards' institutional thinking to get them all to leave the building at the same time. They assume the bombs are a fire drill and file out. Before They Come Back Inside the relay station you, Maxine and Paula hide signal bafflers. Steve sees a flaw in that the guards might search the tower once they realise there was no fire drill. Maxine's planned for this with a decoy unexploded bomb. See You On The Other Side Once you're a safe distance away you try turning on the comms, and are greeted by Sam's uninterrupted dulcet tones. Your secret comms network is up and running! S05E04 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript MAXINE MYERS: Okay, three packs of chewing gum and half a bag of M&M’s says he drops out of a tree. PAULA COHEN: laughs Is he still dropping out of trees? MAXINE MYERS: Some things don’t really change! You can take a man out of an evil government task force, but you can’t stop him dropping out of trees, probably. PAULA COHEN: I think he’ll just come right towards us. It’s only been four days since they got me out of Abel. He hasn’t had the time to come up with anything elaborate. MAXINE MYERS: Boring! He’ll be dangling out of a helicopter that’s on fire! Do you want to bet on that, Five? PAULA COHEN: No, wait, okay. I’ve changed my mind. Running, but he’s running away from an explosion that he caused. MAXINE MYERS: Sounds much more plausible. PAULA COHEN: What did Sam reckon? MAXINE MYERS: Oh, Sam is convinced Steve will appear out of the night so suddenly, we might wonder for a moment if he’s actually a wizard! PAULA COHEN: laughs Wow, that is quite - MAXINE MYERS: Staked his toothpaste on it! STEVE SISSAY: His toothpaste? Then I’d hate to let him down. MAXINE MYERS: Oh, for God’s sake. STEVE SISSAY: Sorry, love. Got a reputation to maintain. And now that Sigrid’s told the world that you and Sam are actually alive, Five, she’s got her soldiers scouring these woods looking for you. MAXINE MYERS: What did she say? That she made a mistake? STEVE SISSAY: That Five and Sam faked their own deaths. Anyway, she’s looking for you all now, and she’s angry, so sneaky is the only way. PAULA COHEN: And you know where the communications station is? You can lead us there? We have to work out some way to sabotage it this evening. Just to give us some breathing space until we find a new place to live. We can’t even talk to Sam on comms right now. STEVE SISSAY: I do, and I can, darling. And it’s a lovely night for a bit of nefarious sabotage of Sigrid’s facilities, disguised as Exmoor Militia. But I’m on special measures at Abel after last week. Ian’s making me report to him personally every hour, so we’re on a tight schedule. A boy can’t miss his muster. Ready, Five? Let’s go. MAXINE MYERS: How’s it on the ground in Abel now, Steve? STEVE SISSAY: Pretty poor. The Minister’s hacked off with Ian for losing baby Sara, and he’s taking his aggression out on everyone in Abel. Your people are doing their best. Kefilwe’s doing amazing work. At least, I hear very good things. She won’t talk to me. PAULA COHEN: It’s safer that way. Sigrid’s going to come looking for me and Sara anyway. She can’t find out Maxine and Janine are alive. We have an agreement, don’t we, Maxie? MAXINE MYERS: Oh, the “not letting each other out of each other’s sight again” agreement? Yeah, I am down with that. PAULA COHEN: I am so tired of thinking I might never see you again! MAXINE MYERS: I know, honey. Me, too. We should really come up with some kind of a Bat-Signal to let each other know we’re not really dead. PAULA COHEN and MAXINE MYERS: Like Romeo and Juliet should! laugh PAULA COHEN: Sorry. Sorry. Private joke. We went to see that play when we’d just started dating, and it made us both so - MAXINE MYERS: - so angry that neither of them had thought to somehow leave a note or something saying, “I’m not really dead.” PAULA COHEN: It doesn’t really feel like a joke anymore. MAXINE MYERS: Not after all we’ve been through. Look at it this way, Steven. You tried to help Sigrid steal our baby. Okay, fine, you also helped to save Paula and Sara the other night. That gets you back to zero. Now, you’re earning some credit by keeping us off her radar. Sabotaging this communications relay station tonight is – the way I calculate it – about a one percent the way back to “decent human”. So, no, you cannot tell your girlfriend about any of this. STEVE SISSAY: Yeah, I wouldn’t normally even want to tell her, but the way she looks at me sometimes… Cameo’s staying out of my way now she knows about me. She’s spending all of her time with Kytan, anyway. Nadia’s working with Veronica. Means she has shipments coming in and out of Abel, so she can get around the rationing a bit. PAULA COHEN: Rationing? Why is there rationing? We’ve always managed to feed everyone okay at Abel. There were Sam’s mystery tin nights, but I quite liked those. STEVE SISSAY: Obvious control strategy: keep people hungry. Keep them down. It’s basic. It’s what I’d do. MAXINE MYERS: It wasn’t your idea, was it? STEVE SISSAY: I was part of a certain conversation. Standard. I do have to keep their trust. MAXINE MYERS: It feels so wrong to have left them all there. Yeah, I know. I know we don’t have a choice. PAULA COHEN: If we knock this relay station out tonight, we’ll be able to regroup. Find somewhere to live, make a new plan. Let’s get there quickly. groan Zombies at your nine, Runner Five. Let’s move. PAULA COHEN: Whew! Okay – laughs We lost them. MAXINE MYERS: No one bitten? PAULA COHEN: Would it matter if I were? MAXINE MYERS: It’d matter to me. You haven’t been taking care, honey. I saw one get you the other night. PAULA COHEN: It was just a scratch. And we needed the firewood. And I needed a walk. Eight of us in two camper vans. You know how it is. MAXINE MYERS: We’ll find somewhere to live, we will. STEVE SISSAY: You can still get bitten and not turn zom? PAULA COHEN: For the moment. I’ll need plasmapheresis treatment in a month or so, but that’s a long way down our list of priorities. First, if we’re going to do anything, we need reliable communications. STEVE SISSAY: Look. There she is: Pitwell Communications Station. All the Ministry’s communications within a fifty mile radius go through that beauty. And guess what I’ve brought with me? Oh, yes. All the bombs. Can’t wait to see Ian’s face when he can’t call London for sugared almonds. He loves sugared almonds. PAULA COHEN: Who loves sugared almonds? STEVE SISSAY: I know. And it’ll take them weeks to fix it. Weeks! MAXINE MYERS: Yeah. They will fix it. I’ve been thinking about that. PAULA COHEN: What do you mean, babe? MAXINE MYERS: Sam and I were talking it over last night. You were asleep, honey. You looked like you needed the sleep. We’ve cooked something up. A sort of blocker. If we can get in there and plant it into their receiving software, it’ll make all Sigrid’s communications systems just skip over a couple of key frequencies. PAULA COHEN: I think I’m with you! We’d be able to use our comms, and they’d never know we’d done anything! Couldn’t listen in. STEVE SISSAY: Are you telling me I’ve come all the way out here and nothing’s going to go bang? MAXINE MYERS: Yup. You’ll have to find another way to entertain yourself. There are no guarantees. We might not have a chance to use the device me and Sam have cooked up. But if we do this, we have to be sneaky. Five, can you do a circuit of Pitwell Station, report back on the guards? Be quick. MAXINE MYERS: Great work, Five. There are two guards outside, and we think two inside. Steve? STEVE SISSAY: Team of four, on duty at all times. MAXINE MYERS: Right then. Steve, you might be making something go bang after all. STEVE SISSAY: Only for the lady’s pleasure. Just tell me where to go. MAXINE MYERS: Do you have any more of those smoke bombs you used at Abel the other night? STEVE SISSAY: Never leave home without them. MAXINE MYERS: Okay. This is going to be difficult to time without someone on comms, but we can do it. Steve, give the smoke bombs to Runner Five. Now Steve, you go back up the path to that copse of trees where we sheltered from the zoms. That should take about as long as it’ll take us to get into position by the side of the comms tower. STEVE SISSAY: Right. Up to the copse of trees. Then what? MAXINE MYERS: Count to a hundred, and then make something go bang. STEVE SISSAY: Can do. MAXINE MYERS: Paula, Runner Five, we haven’t got any time to waste. Run! explosion PAULA COHEN: whispers What’s he doing? We’re not in position yet! MAXINE MYERS: whispers Maybe he forgot to count to a hundred. PAULA COHEN: whispers Ugh, typical! MAXINE MYERS: whispers What? PAULA COHEN: whispers Oh, nothing. Look, the guards are leaving their posts, running towards the explosion he set off. But it’s only going to take them a minute to see what’s happened! MAXINE MYERS: whispers A minute’s all we need. Five, quickly! Take those smoke bombs, throw them inside the comms tower, then come back here. Hurry, we’ve only got a few minutes! smoke sprays, alarm rings PAULA COHEN: Oh my God, smoke alarm! GUARD: Bloody hell. Fire drill. How long is this one going to take? GUARD: A minute or two after we get out safely. Just like the drill before it. ?. GUARD: That’s great. That’s just great… PAULA COHEN: They’re all leaving! How did you know they’d all leave, babe? MAXINE MYERS: I’ve worked in the NHS. I know about institutional thinking. Come on, Five, quickly! We’ve got three little comms bafflers to install before they troop back inside. MAXINE MYERS: Good work, Five. They’ll never spot that baffler tucked behind the beams of the roof. PAULA COHEN: I put mine behind the fridge. No one ever cleans behind the fridge. MAXINE MYERS: Mine’s behind the toilet system on the second floor. I think we’re done here. opens STEVE SISSAY: Done, except that… ladies. Due respect, I’m not sure you’ve thought this through. They’re going to find the flashbangs I left in the woods, and they’ll work out it wasn’t a fire drill. And then they’ll search this place from top to bottom. MAXINE MYERS: So did you bring something to blow the place up with? Is that your next strategy? Little bit of blowing up, just a tiny bit? STEVE SISSAY: Uh, yeah. MAXINE MYERS: In a challenging world, it’s good to have something to rely on. GUARD: I think someone’s inside the building! STEVE SISSAY: Okay. This is a six minute fuse. They’re going to come looking for us soon. If I plant it now, we’ll just be able to get away before it blows. MAXINE MYERS: Or how about if you plant it now and don’t set it off? Just leave it, so it looks like you were interrupted before you set it off. PAULA COHEN: Oh my God! I knew. I knew there was a reason I fell in love with you. MYERS and PAULA COHEN kiss STEVE SISSAY: Ladies! Is this the time or the place for - MAXINE MYERS: Five, you get it, don’t you? Steve, leave your bomb here, now. PAULA COHEN: It’ll look like we were planning to blow the place up before interrupted. STEVE SISSAY: And then they won’t look for any other tampering equipment! Oh, I’d kiss you too, but I think it’d be disrespectful. MAXINE MYERS: Like you said, sneaky is the only way. GUARD: There, in the upstairs window. I think it’s Exmoor Militia! MAXINE MYERS: Just get moving, everyone! We have to be out of here before they come back. PAULA COHEN: Alright. No one’s following us, and we should be far enough away now. Turn your comms on, Five. static SAM YAO: Five! Oh, and everyone. Hey! I’m back! This is Sam Yao, back on your comms, and back in your face, and in your ears, and… not actually in your face, unless your ears are part of your face, which… oh, I don’t know. You can’t stop the signal, friends. You can’t stop the signal. Uh, yeah, well, you can. They did, for a bit. So you can stop the signal, but you can also restart the signal, am I right? Am I right? This is Sam Yao, coming at you! Coming at you. Uh, oh. Hang on. You guys are there, right? MAXINE MYERS: Yeah. We’re all here. We’re fine. SAM YAO: Oh my God! My thing! Our thing! It worked! MAXINE MYERS: Well, as we’re talking and no one’s chasing us, my friend, I think it worked. SAM YAO: Oh man! Well, maybe I didn’t sleep through all my electrical engineering lectures after all. Oh, but it was all your idea, Maxie. Oh my God, I’m so excited! STEVE SISSAY: It was a great plan. Well executed. Sam, it’s nice to hear your voice. You won your bet, by the way. SAM YAO: My bet? Oh, yes! My bet. Appearing from the dark like a wizard, yeah? Nice one. I’d hate to lose my cavity prevention that nine out of ten dentists recommend. I knew you wouldn’t let me down, Steve. STEVE SISSAY: Yeah. Course not, love. Course not. SAM YAO: Oh, things are looking up! We can talk, we’re not dead. I found an extra mattress to put in the back of the camper van this evening. We’re on our way, gang! STEVE SISSAY: And I’m on my way, too. Back to jail for me. PAULA COHEN: Ooh, yeah. Steve, thanks for today. STEVE SISSAY: I’m one percent up, right? MAXINE MYERS: Make it one point five. I’m in a generous mood. STEVE SISSAY: laughs Well, I’ll see you on the other side. I’m proud to work with you all.Category:Mission Category:Season Five